Monday, March 16, 2009

Is this not what you expected to see?

I'm sorry I didn't post an update. I was truly distraught on Saturday (day of transfer). Out of our 4 embies, 2 'arrested' between day 3 and 5. We transferred the other two, one a 12 cell embryo and one morula. I was pretty devastated with this result. It seemed like so much hope was sucked out of me. I actually wanted to slap the embryologist but quickly remembered it's not really her fault.

I'm starting to feel better. It is what it is and there is still a chance one or both of them stick around.


DH and I had a heated screaming match the morning of transfer which is not ideal but we did resolve everything before the transfer.

Thank you all so much for reaching out to me and giving me your words of wisdom. I cherish every word and feel blessed that I have you guys in my life. Even though we may never meet, you are all my sisters and I love you.

8 comments:

Meinsideout said...

I am so sorry. I am not going to try and force puppies and sunshine on you - I felt the same way about my transfer on the 12th. We had three on day 3 - a 4 cell A-, a 5 cell A- and an 8 cell B. The 8 cell sounds great, right - well it was a 6 cell on day 2 so the growth was obviously slowing way down...well, I was really disappointed - angry - and the transfer was a debacle so I was convinced that they killed them even before they were transferred.

But, I have turned that around and I really believe that there is a chance that it may work - just like there is a good chance that it will work for you. There are thousands of women that get and stay pregnant every year with "less than perfect" embryos on any given transfer day. Here is to keeping hope alive.

Caroline said...

Hi Darya,
I have been thinking of you, and I am sorry to hear that the transfer was so stressful. IVF is such a stressful process. DH and I have certainly had our share of "moments" too (because of the stress).
Don't be too hard on yourself. Take it easy, do some fun things (like seeing a movie). I try to tell myself that it only takes one embryo to make a baby. Don't forget it! Hugs to you Darya. x

Meinsideout said...

D - I just read your entire blog - you really have been through a lot. I am an attorney too and it has been so hard to concentrate and work like I used to - I too wonder where the woman I used to be went - the only thing that may be permanent from this shite is the extra weight...

Josée Martens said...

Argh! The stress of it all. I am sorry 2 arrested. I am rooting for you. I hope it works out. What will you do for the next 10 days to get your mind off of it?

Unknown said...

I am so sorry to hear of all your stresses, try to relax. It so easy to get angry when you are dealing with IF on a daily basis, and I think we all argue from time to time. Hugs to you, I hope you find some peace :)
www.barrenwomb.com

Erica said...

Ugh, such disappointment. I hate that it lives so closely with IF treatments. Things have got to start looking up soon, one way or another. You're in my thoughts and prayers. I hope so much that one or both stick around.

Josée Martens said...

I'd love to meet up. Can you email me at mamasoon at g mail
I work in the loop. Live out west. How about you?

Meinsideout said...

Hi D - yes, I bill time for a living in a mid-large firm! It has been a challenge the last year through 3.5 IVFs to focus. This is sick but I am glad that most everyone's hours suck right now - mine were 300 less in 08 than 07 but they are on par with everyone else's.

If this cycle is a bust, we are considering CCRM.