Sunday night

I really hate Sunday nights because I know I have at least 5 work days ahead of me. I got a lot done today though so I feel good about that.

I had nice long talks with both my mom and my sister. My mom is the most amazing mother in the world and her favorite thing to do is mother. I know it hurts her deeply not to have grandchildren. She's been wanting them for so long but I wasn't always ready and I wasn't always married either. Anyway, we didn't talk about IF but it was a nice talk. I know she senses something is up with me because I've been distant but I made it sound like I'm really busy at work (which is true) but not why I've been distant.

My sister brought up IF and I told her we will be doing IVF and she had lots of questions! She made a few comments because she didn't know any better but once I explained why what she said is inaccurate- she listened. She really listened. I know she wants me to have a baby and gives 'advice' to help. I love that girl. I didn't talk about it too much though because it's very hard for me to do that on the phone. I can do it in person and I can do it through email but I don't want to breakdown over the phone. She will visit just a few weeks after my IVF so I will either be really happy or really sad- either way, the timing is perfect because I will need her.

I keep flip flopping on whether I'd rather be living closer to my family right now or not. On the one hand-the support would be great and they would offer lots of hugs. On the other hand, I wouldn't be able to hide when I'm having really bad days...or weeks and they would try to 'help' which may not always be helpful.

Nothing new with DH. He has stayed away all day and he is clearly mad at me. I really don't care right now. He said I'm punishing him but I'm not. I would only punish to teach a lesson. I know he doesn't regret his choice yesterday and never will. I'm just hurt. I will get over it. By the time we get to spend QT together I will really be longing for it. He is, after all, my one and only soulmate. If I'm sure of one thing-that is it.