Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Hey you, don't tell me there's no hope at all

The official word came in. BFN. I held on to some hope. Stupid, I know. But I did. I feel broken. I'm still in shock. Our 4 little embies died inside my body.

DH had an awesome idea though. We are going to San Antonio for a last minute getaway this weekend. I use to travel to Dallas quite often for work. Haven't been there for over 10 years. Can't seem to stop thinking about who I was then, young and fertile and healthy and free from so much pain and baggage. No grey hair to worry about. Carrying 45 lbs less than I do now. So proud to be an independent and educated working woman. No way was I going to be one of those women who just wanted to get married and be a stay at home mom. How things change.

6 comments:

Caroline said...

Hi Darya,
That's a great idea to go away for the weekend. Spoil yourself a bit -you totally deserve it. I have been thinking of you and am here for you if you ever need to vent. I feel for you.

Nikki said...

Have a fun trip Darya. Get away as much as you can - away from everything. Take care of yourselves and pamper yourselves.

Hugs to you.

Nichole said...

Darya - the trip sounds like a GREAT idea! I am so sorry the IVF didn't work - I hope that this little trip will help you feel a little more like your old self!

Much love and hugs!

Miss Tori said...

I'm sorry that your hope was crushed. Enjoy the escape away from everything. I hope you find some peace with it all.

Mary said...

I hope the trip was a good one. I'm glad for you that you aren't just laying around the house. It always makes me feel better to get out and about when I'm feeling really down.
Thinking about you!

Josée Martens said...

Oh Darya. I don't know how I missed your post. I am so so so sorry.

I hope the trip went well. How are you doing? Hangin' in there?