So I've been pretty stressed since thursday. Thing is, I'm more stressed about the situation with my mom than anything else. I did ask her some questions related to my genetics and it really really upset her. I am sorry to have upset her but I don't regret asking. Anyway, this all happened after she upset ME about just 'relaxing'. She said some really really hurtful things after that that I haven't been able to take out of my mind. I am waiting for her to get here now after not seeing her for months and I will do my best to show my fake face and make her comfortable. I was really looking forward to seeing her but this just really ruined it.
I wish we had never had the conversation. I wish I hadn't tried to lean on her about IF. But...whenever something painful happens, a lesson is learned. I've learned a lesson. I've decided that I will shut her out of my IF journey from now on. I am considering just lying to her and telling her we've decided to just 'relax' and stopped treatment. It may be hard to do that though because I probably won't be able to make it home for Christmas due to treatment and I don't know what I would use as an excuse.
Whatever I do, I am so fortunate to have a network of other IF'ers who understand what it's like and whom I can turn to. Even though her intentions are good, it has caused me severe amounts of pain over and over again and it has made my IF experience worse. And it's not just her. It's all of the people who say things like 'just adopt and you'll get pregnant' or 'just relax', etc. I don't really have the energy to constantly educate them so I'm not going to spend too much time doing it.
For now, I will keep my chin up and make my mom and sis feel good while they are here. I don't want my mom upset about what I said but I don't want to apologize for having the concerns I have either. They are legitimate. She is being really dramatic about it too. I mean, she went on and on about how she wished she were dead because I hurt her so bad with my question. I guess that's where I get it from.
The genesis of similarity.: Set in Egypt Aida
4 years ago
3 comments:
Darya - I hope you are able to enjoy your mom's visit. If it helps you to put on a brave face and tell her you're stopping treatment, do that. Do whatever helps you, and makes you feel better.
I'm sorry things have been so rough for you. Hoping for everything to get better soon. Hugs to you
Darya,
I am so sorry your mom is being so insensitive right now! After my miscarriage, I haven't told anyone about our treatments. Only my blogger friends know where I am in my journey. I just can't bear the questions and insensitive responses anymore.
We have to go into self-preservation mode. We have to protect ourselves. We are fragile.
Hang in there and know that we are here this weekend if you need to vent!
((HUGS))
Some people just don't understand and just don't have any tact and it's worse when you are related to them. I hope things get better with your mother. You're in my thoughts.
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