Monday, February 22, 2010

I sentence you to be exposed before peers

I got an extremely painful phone call tonight. Here I am in Denver, on our 6th ivf procedure. Our savings GONE, vacation time GONE and hope about 90% gone and I got a phone call. One of my very best friends is a man and he knows everything we've been through the last few years. Anyway, he called adn this is how the conversation went:

Him: "where are you? What are you doing?"
Me: "I'm in Denver."
Him: "Are you getting poked?"
Me: "yes"
Him: "Does it hurt?"
Me: "not so much physically."
Him: "well good luck. Guess what? I'm going to be a dad."

:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

I can't get away from it. I'm happy for him. I know this is something he's wanted since he was in his early 20's but never had a long term girlfriend. He's only been with this girl for maybe 6 months and they weren't actually trying. She's my age. WHY is it so easy for everyone else???

I just finished telling my mom and her response was "lots of people have other issues you don't have. You only think this is so terrible because it is happening to you." I know she wants to make me feel better and ALWAYS does whenever anything else was wrong but this is an area where I wish she'd just hug me and not give me an opinion.


Anonymous said...

F*ck - what a kick in the stomach, I am so sorry. Don't feel bad about what you feel - you have been/are going through hell.


Amanda said...

WTF? I would hope someone that knew about all of this in your life would wait until a better time to tell you. I mean really, I would have hung up on him or burst out in tears... or yelled explicatives... yes, probably the explicatives knowing me. And your mom isn't necessarily wrong, but unfortunately heartache isn't doled out equally among the population, some people just get more crap heaped upon them, and unfortunately you've had a pretty large pile of it.

Hope the cycle is going well otherwise.

Nikki said...


jenicini said...

Groan. So sorry. :(