It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

I stared at a blank blog page for what seemed like hours trying to think of what to write about. Do I write about the moments of happiness I've had over the last week or so because I haven't been obsessed with being infertile? Do I write about how wonderful it feels to get back into the gym on a regular basis? Do I write about the satisfaction I feel from drinking wine and coffee? OR..........Do I write about the deep sadness I feel in my heart every so often when the reality that CCRM may not work sets in? The reality that I will never have a biological child with DH. Ouch. It hurts just to write it. Do I write how I want to delay CCRM so I can hold on to hope? Anyway, I guess I don't have much of an update except that I'm still here and still struggling. While some moments are the best I've had in over a year, others are some of the worst.